Dear MTV Lebanon,
Your popular TV show Ktir Salbeh has recently been airing skits that ridicule a number of minorities, be they domestic workers, Palestinians, or gay people. In an episode that aired February 22, 2012, you featured a stereotypically gay man singing a love song to another man in a mocking way.
I understand that, as a TV station, your main aim is to increase viewership. But, as a TV station, you have a responsibility to your viewers, and to the country, to not spread hate. While you may think that your skits are only meant to make people laugh, they are part of a much bigger system of hate and oppression.
***
Growing up, I had my fair share of bullying.
I was teased constantly, called a fag (or its French or Arabic equivalent), made fun of, etc.
I was once beaten up, not that badly, but it scared the shit out of me.
I spent one night in jail for some gay work I was doing.
I was “dick-slapped” twice (for some reason, “dick-slapping” was a big thing when I was growing up. It basically consists of a bunch of “straight” guys going up to a gay guy, holding him down, and slapping his face with their dicks.)
Thankfully, that kind of bullying has stopped for me.
But the bullying never stops.
It just takes on different forms.
There seems to be a trend nowadays where people dismiss the hardships that gay people (or minorities) go through, or at least dismiss the impact that some things may have on someone who is gay (or part of a minority).
What bothers me about this is the fact that these examples of blatant homophobia are always taken as isolated events, as opposed to positioning them within the greater, very troubling, forces that manage to continuously create a sense of fear, insecurity, hatred, and ignorance.
When a TV show decides to make fun of a man just for being feminine or gay, it’s bullying.
When people laugh at this TV show, it is bullying.
When people dismiss the concerns of activists that highlight the homophobia in such a show, it is bullying.
Every comment, post, tweet, joke, statement, status, or message addressing this TV show that fails to listen to the voices of gay people is bullying.
Every single one of these actions is responsible for the more damaging kind of bullying, similar to what I experienced when I was younger.
I’ve been discussing this issue all day with various people, and the comment I got the most was “Why can’t you take a joke?”
The answer to that is easy. A joke loses its humor when it takes advantage of someone’s weakened position. You don’t kick someone who is down. Every kick manages to keep them down longer. What may seem like an innocent joke to some actually reinforces the homophobia that is already rampant. When you put things into context, then you realize the impact of such actions.
I waited until I had calmed down before writing all of this. The video itself, and the discussions that it sparked have shocked me and angered me.
That anger was the result of bullying.
I initially wrote this piece as a blog post. I have now transformed it into an open letter, in hopes of reaching the producers, directors, writers, and actors working on this TV show, or, (one can dream) the heads of all TV stations in Lebanon.
***
I saw two tweets today that are particularly poignant here, from people completely out of the discussion that was taking place.
The first helped me to define bullying:
“If you’ve ever been in a situation where you couldn’t be yourself, you’ve been bullied.” (Unfortunately, I don’t remember who it was that tweeted that)
The second sums up everything above in a brilliant way:
“The boys throw stones at frogs in jest. But the frogs die in earnest.” (by @sachkii)
That pretty much says it all.
I hope you will take this letter as a platform for discussion. There are so many things to make fun of out there. Here’s hoping the humor that is perpetrated doesn’t also lead to oppression.
Thank you,
Raja Farah
NEW: Click here to read MTV’s initial response.
NEW: Click here to help me come up with ideas for change to present to MTV.
A quick note: MTV Lebanon is in no way affiliated with the international TV station MTV (Music Television). MTV Lebanon is a local chain that is owned by a man named Gaby Murr (I think) and therefore, it is actually MurrTV. I appreciate the readers outside Lebanon who suggested contacting Music Television, but I don’t think that would help much. 🙂
ohmyhappiness 
gimmemoah
February 24, 2012
I hear you. Great article. Unfortunately, bullying does not stop-very true.
Ibrahim Dïab
February 24, 2012
Beautiful :’)
I found the director on facebook, told him he should do this, among other things:
To think that he dares saying that he likes Osho..
Be safe,
I.
stephanienour
February 24, 2012
This is so beautiful in its honesty and straightforwardness. With you on every point, and hoping that those on the other side of the communication channel are will be up to par.
Rita Chemaly
February 24, 2012
Reblogged this on Ritachemaly’s Blog and commented:
I Haven’t seen the show raja is talking abt, but I have read numerous posts against MTV Ktir salbeh and LOL shows recently. I understand more the point of view of those posts, after reading this open letter,
for all those who would like to know more about it… here it is!
Myra Abdallah
February 24, 2012
Raja,
Thank you for your very “calm”, “non-attacking” article.
i believe if other activists used the same way of communiation as you did, we could have been able to reach a discussion ground a lot faster..
Best Regards,
Myra Abdallah
Claudine
February 24, 2012
That’s one of the reasons I don’t have a TV but still, I’ve been hearing a lot of negative feedback about this show. I love comedy but I don’t understand why some think that insulting people is funny. Have they really ran out of creativity that they can’t come up with intelligent jokes/funny situations?! I hope they reply… intelligently.
christian
February 24, 2012
i agree with every SINGLE word u have said ! so true , so thoughtful , i really liked it all , i wish we could live to see the day when bullying ends for good , and we can all live peacefully , we are all humans after all , i really wish homophobic people would finally get that … keep up the good work
ohmyhappiness
February 25, 2012
Thank you all for the support. It’s been great to see so many people share the post. Still no word from MTV, but to be fair, it was published in a Friday afternoon. Here’s hoping that if it gets to them from enough people by Monday, they’ll write back.
Ranjith
February 26, 2012
Beautifully and powerfully written Raja! Thank you. I had my share too as a gay man – gay bashing ending up with two broken ribs, police harassment, being teased by everybody at every possible opportunity. That was back in my home country. I came to Canada to live my life; at least I am not illegal here. But then there are other issues! Pl see and this story of mine, which captures some of my experiences here:
LGBT people should make links, build solidarity. I admire your amazing courage! Cheers! Ranjith Toronto
ohmyhappiness
February 26, 2012
Hey Ranjith! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it’s very important for people of different backgrounds to share what they’ve gone through. It helps others see they are not alone.
Thank you for reading my posts!
Farah
February 27, 2012
Thanks Raja. This is heart warming and beautifully expressed.
Dopamine (@irundope)
February 27, 2012
This is horrible, no one should have to endure such things, but I dont think an open letter will solve anything, in fact, I think it’ll backfire. Allow me to explain:
Bullying or not, no one should be in the position to influence a writer/comics script. Creative freedom is important, regardless of whether it is distasteful or not.
In order to solve the problem, we ought to flip the equation on its head: I mean, is asking MTV Lebanon to apologize and/or to be more politically correct next time it decides to air an episode about a minority going solve anything, or will it be an attempt to conceal the disgusting nature of our societies?
I think it’ll be the latter, because, quite honestly, these episodes are generating laughs; laughs that reflect how society views this issue. To most of them its a joke, to some others its a disease. Unless we change the way the viewership reflects on this issue, we’re just kidding ourselves. Change shouldn’t be coming from the top (MTV producers, board members, etc.), but from the bottom (the viewership).
Now, hypothetically speaking, if a writer were to write a skit that is as distasteful as this in a society that finds the portrayal of LGTB’s (or any minority) in a certain way as unacceptable, will this cause an uproar amongst their own viewers? It might. And if it does, should the writer be censored? No. But he/she along with their TV channel would then have to deal with the aftermath of their own decisions.
This, I believe, should be the way forward. We ought be fighting back with facts, and the simple understandings of individual and rights, not sympathetic pleas for better consideration (next time) of the personal choices we make.
Eli Bei
February 28, 2012
You have extremely valid points. However, let me disagree a bit with you. Community leaders should be forward thinking, and should not reflect and echo every detail of their perceived fan base. As such, I do blame these tv producers for not trying at least to tone down their racist views and bigotry. Where it is true that our society is plagued by racism and all the other -isms you can think of, these leaders and opinion makers should at least try and be less blatant in their views and tone them down a notch.
Ktir Salbe has gotten lots of bad press lately, but it’s not the only show. How about Mafi Metlo’s Wajdi and Majdi? I do admit, these actors are pretty funny, and they make me laugh, but they leave a sour taste in my mouth. Not to mention LOL and its constant attacking of gays with a series of bad jokes. In all of these shows, and others that I have missed, gays boil down to one thing, a gaping hole needing to be filled with the biggest thing ever, be it a candle, a cucumber, a pole, the empire state building…(burj khalifa anyone?). Yes it’s comedy, yes it’s satire and it doesn’t have to represent reality, but it also reflect how shallow the general understanding of what a gay is or isn’t. If there is an equal portrayal of gay characters doing mundane things like well sitting down talking, laughing, shopping, cooking, cleaning, or saving the planet and making our lives better, as opposed to all of this one-sided image of sex-obsessed gays, I would be ok with it. For me life is about choices, and if your goal in life is to score with whomever, wherever and whenever, so be it, it’s your right, your life, your choice.
As for creative freedom, I do agree. It should not be monitored, but how creative is to portray gays as horny effeminates? It’s an age old cliche.
Dear producers and self-proclaimed comedy writers, you know that not all gays are like that and suppose they are like that it doesn’t give you any moral superiority over them. Please ask your staff about gays, lots of them are gay anyway. Ask Hicham Haddad about his own gaygane, I bet he has lots of funny stories to tell.
Finally, I will end my rant by saying that you are responsible to what you do outside your very private and personal space, and this holds true for anyone.
Dopamine (@irundope)
February 28, 2012
Im not from Lebanon, and the last time I visited was in 2004, so I cant tell to what extent this takes place in Lebanon. But, I know for a fact, that despite our best efforts, effective change always comes from the ground up. This is the case almost everywhere.
The plea, in my opinion, should be to society rather than to TV Producers who’re motivated by profit, and as long as they’re profiting, will continue in their bullying and bigotry.
Yara El Moussaoui
February 27, 2012
Great Work Raja 🙂 This is just beautiful 🙂
Amal Khatib
February 27, 2012
Very true!! It is not only the matter of minorities; In similar programs they can be much more creative in making us smile. The only subject chosen are either sex, or mocking people and this is a shame!
silina
February 28, 2012
Raja. Your letter is so sincere, so honest, so direct that it makes me more proud for NOT watching ANY Lebanese channel.
Roy
February 29, 2012
let me know what happens with respect to this!
thanks for the move raja
Voice
March 3, 2012
Everyone has the right to voice their opinion. physical brutality is not acceptable never the less speaking out against anything wether it is homosexuality or anything else. it honestly disappoints me to see that people care more about homosexuality which make up about 5% of the world rather than when religion and ethnicity that makes about 87% at least. not to be harsh or anything, but Gay rights should be the last thing we should be worried about.. if anything we shouldn’t be worried about it at all. Not only is it against every major religion but it also worries me as a parent. I don’t know what your view, religion or sexual preference is dear reader, and i will not apologize for my words. “I might not agree with what you say, but ill fight for your right to say it”
ohmyhappiness
March 5, 2012
The homophobia is your response is horrifying. You start by mentioning that religion is a problem (with statistics that are anything byt accurate), then you defend your homophobia by using religion. That’s a bit odd.
And I’m sorry to hear that you are worried about homosexuality as a parent. I really hope that your son or daughter does not end up gay and have to grow up in a house of hate.
One last thing: gay rights are human rights, and therefore are the most important thing we should worry about. Basic rights for all human beings are as basic as it gets.
But at least you read my blog, which I guess shows a bit of hope.
Alex
March 4, 2012
I do not see things from your perspective, at least not entirely…You could kill the ktir salbe team for all I care, but majdi w wajdi r truly amazing and funny! When I watch them, it’s the hardest i ever laugh! They do not insult us in any way since this is not us they r joking about! How many people do you know who actually are like majdi w wajdi?? None I guess! And if there are some people who actually do go to that very low down extreme in behaviour, well it serves them right to be mocked! Inno w2es! Fi minimum ya jame3a w killla shiiiii! 😛
ohmyhappiness
March 5, 2012
I think you should read my blog post “Here’s to the faggots”
The fact that you find humor in majdi and wajdi shows how deep the homophobia in this country is.
Also, no one deserves to be mocked. 🙂
Ranim
May 25, 2012
Thank you for writing this beautiful letter and standing up for your and many other people’s rights and beliefs. Personally, I don’t watch Arabic shows because I can’t really relate to them. Then when these shows became popular, I saw a majdi w wajdi video someone had posted on Facebook and because of all the comments calling it hilarious I opened the link. And I watched the video. I’ve got to say it was really offensive and not even funny. Just mean. Many really young kids watch it and now have a false image about gays, which infuriates me. I myself am not gay but I’m definitely pro-gay and I strongly believe you should have rights just like everybody else. It’s sad that Lebanese people are still narrow-minded bigots and find this show actually funny. It should really be cancelled. Very sad indeed. Again, thank you for sharing this with us. I know I’m a bit late and this was posted a long time ago but nothing’s been done about it… Just another thing about lebanese: we are all-talk. Thank you
rony
May 14, 2013
If you are a gay, don’t fucking show it to people, if you wanna get fuck in public or in an intimate state with your one night stand gay, you are going to be beaten because we don’t want to raise our children seeing gays and consider it as normal.sorry to say that you are mentally and physically sick, you should be seeing a specialist.
Marwan
May 14, 2013
Why are you so angry? Why all this hatred? If you’re so hell bent on avoiding gay people … then why are you reading a blog that has the following description “Gay, atheist, activist, pacifist, Arab. Among other horrible things”?
For the sake of your own “children” – you should be the one that sees a specialist
Marwan
May 14, 2013
… and I hate to sound like a grammar Nazi on such a stupid point but it’s “if you are gay” not “if you are A gay”
moron
ohmyhappiness
May 14, 2013
You need a hug.
The C.L.
May 14, 2013
Dear Rony,
Congratulation on becoming an affiliate in the “Lebanon will never become a civilized society because I am a nitwit who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.” Club.
Yours truly,
The Club Leader
Tim
May 14, 2013
Thanks, Rony. We appreciate your creative criticism.
Love,
Everyone else
Sunshine
May 15, 2013
Dear Rony,
You look familiar. Do you come here often?
Love,
Sunshine
torrent
January 15, 2014
Very good write-up. I certainly love this site.
Keep it up!