This is an actual conversation I’ve had with a man on Grindr. I seem to spend most of my time on there trying to talk sense into horny boys. Maybe I’m wasting my time?
***
Profile: “I’m straight-acting. UB2. Absolutely no fems and no bottoms.”
Him: Hi
Me: Hello!
H: Top or bottom
M: You’ve already told me you don’t want a bottom…
H: ?
M: Your profile says “no bottoms”
H: lol. Azdeh no feminine.
M: well, I’m not sure what that means.
H: are you feminine?
M: I don’t know. What does that mean?
H: inno are you straight-acting?
M: Certainly not! I hope you’re not either.
H: manly here.
M: again, I don’t know what that means.
H: Bye
H: Hi! (2 weeks later)
M: Hi!
H: hru?
M: I’m good. You?
H: Horny.
M: Still straight acting?
H: lol. Yea
M: Then sex with another man is out of the question?
H: Shou asdak?
M: straight men don’t have sex with other men.
H: lol. Azdeh inno I don’t want a mara khalsa in bed.
M: What do you want in bed?
H: A real man.
M: I’ve got a penis.
H: hahahahaha
H: so you want to meet? (15 minutes later)
M: for what?
H: whatever. Oral. Anal. I’m soooooo horny.
M: How do I know if I’m manly enough for you?
H: akid you’re feminine. Khallas. Good luck.
H: Hi! (3 days later)
M: Hello!
H: badak tneek?
M: top or bottom?
H: Ana top! Inta?
M: You’re a top and you’re not looking for a bottom? How does that work?
H: You are very complicated.
M: I’ll take that as a compliment.
H: tayeb you want to fuck or not?
M: I fuck you or you fuck me?
H: come over and we will decide.
M: I don’t fit your profile requirements.
H: you’re feminine?
M: what if I am?
H: I am gay. Yaaneh I like men. I don’t want a woman.
M: I am not a woman.
H: lol. Good.
M: But what if I’m feminine.
H: Bye.
H: Ktir horny! (the next day! I swear! You can’t make this shit up!)
M: fantastic
H: what are you looking for?
M: If only I knew my life would be simpler.
H: you have another pic?
M: My profile picture is clear enough.
H: body pic?
M: nope. Sorry.
H: tab describe it.
M: what do you want to know?
H: are you cut?
M: body or cock?
H: lol. How can body be cut? U r crazy!
M: I’m cut.
H: good. Slim?
M: My cock?
H: ur body.
M: I have a small belly.
H: small?
M: my cock?
H: your belly
M: yes.
H: top or bottom?
M: versatile
H: top here. Manly.
M: So you want me to bottom?
H: Yes.
M: But you said no bottoms.
H: you are crazy.
M: I’m the crazy one?
H: lol.
M: So what is your problem with feminine guys?
H: No prob. I don’t like them.
M: If you don’t like them, then you must have a problem with them.
H: inno be a man. If you are gay it does not mean you are woman.
M: being feminine is being a woman?
H: yes. You are a man. Act like a man, walk like a man. Talk like a man. Why some gay boys talk like they are woman?
M: who cares? If they’re happy like that, then what is the problem?
H: tfeh. They are bad for the gay people.
M: I think you’re “bad for the gay people”.
H: Me? I am very straight acting.
M: When was the last time you saw a straight man sucking cock? If you suck cock, then you’re gay acting.
H: are you from helem club?
M: nope.
H: then why you are being like this?
M: being like what?
H: khallas!
M: OK!
H: you want to meet or not?
M: Seriously?
H: shou? Inno you’re too good? You don’t meet?
M: I don’t meet with homophobes.
H: hahaha you are crazy. Man ana gay! How can I be a homophobic?
M: you hate feminine gay men.
H: they are women, not men.
M: Thank you for driving the point home.
H: shou yaaneh?
M: never mind.
H: ok bye!
M: bye!
the sish
July 26, 2012
oh god please keep posting these! you’ve made my day. this particular exchange made me snort:
H: are you from helem club?
M: nope.
H: then why you are being like this?
how can three short sentences say so much with so little.
S in London xxx
ohmyhappiness
July 26, 2012
🙂 It took me forever to transcribe. And yes, those 3 lines say so much on so many levels. 🙂 Thanks for reading S!
witchylisa
July 26, 2012
Besides the grammar, I kinna get the impression that these guy doesn’t really know what the words feminine and woman mean… Well Raja, be happy he didn’t express his opinion or taste towards Transgendered or genderqueer people 😛
As for the the whole trying to sensitize Grinder sluts: Don’t bother, I’ve noticed that the whole lustful homophobic only lasts till they orgasm
ohmyhappiness
July 26, 2012
It’s a sad, funny, depressing, crazy grindr world. I’ll try to bring up genderqueer in my next grindr convo. 🙂
P.
July 26, 2012
> You’re a top and you’re not looking for a bottom? How does that work?
Maybe he just wants a penis sword fight? 😀
ohmyhappiness
July 26, 2012
That sounds like fun. I would’ve gone for that. 🙂
CzICantTell (@CzICantTell)
July 27, 2012
SERIOUSLY ???? i can’t stop laughing ! i feel pitty for this guy ! 32il fik ! HAHAHAHAHA
i don’t know if i should laugh or cry ! too many of this type of guys sadly
Zak
July 28, 2012
Hahah it’s hopeless. Similar experiences on manjam… Guess what, they’re not so “straight acting”… hypocrites.
Michael Stephens
February 18, 2013
Straight acting gay homophobes. Wtf ? If two men are sucking eachothers cocks and ass fucking that is 100% pure raw feminine energy at its very best… Lol
Nizar Al-Sibai
November 6, 2013
Oh my god, I put up with this shit all the time.
Bless you Raja. I fucking love this blog.
شات نجوم العرب
January 10, 2015
Very good blog you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any forums that cover
the same topics discussed in this article? I’d really love to be a
part of group where I can get advice from other experienced individuals that share the
same interest. If you have any suggestions, please
let me know. Many thanks!
Georges
February 19, 2015
Just stumbled upon this article and I must say it’s amazingly sad but true… I’m sure many out there don’t understand the implication of stating they are “straight acting”. Cheers!
xxx
November 26, 2015
Hi there to every one, the contents present at this web page are in fact awesome for people experience, well, keep up the good
work fellows.