Post-Coital Conversations

When you sleep with me, you don’t just get a regular fuck. I toss in a mind fuck for free.

Me: You OK?

Him: I’m fine.

M: No you’re not. Why the sudden change of mood?

H: I feel slutty.

M: Why do you feel slutty?

H: When you couldn’t find the condoms, I thought we wouldn’t fuck. But I really wanted to fuck.

M: Isn’t that being horny?

H: Yeah it is.

M: Did you feel slutty once I found the condoms?

H: I felt relieved.

M: Do you not see a difference between being slutty and being horny?

H: Is there a difference?

M: Define being a slut.

H: Having lots of partners.

M: How many partners is lots of partners? 500? 100? 20? 5? Some people think having 2 partners is slutty.

H: I guess it’s an attitude.

M: What’s a slutty attitude?

H: If you hadn’t found the condom and I would have walked out of the room and looked for someone else to have sex with.

M: If you had a need, a human need, and I was unable to fulfill it for any reason, what’s the problem with you finding someone else to fulfill it?

H: It becomes slutty when you can’t control it, when it is a need.

M: I guess I can agree with that to a certain extent though I don’t like the word “slutty”.

H: Why haven’t you kicked me out of your house yet?

M: Should I?

H: It’s weird. All the guys I hook up with usually make it clear that I should leave immediately after sex. They either just start playing with their phones, or go to the bathroom every 2 seconds.

M: I find it fascinating to talk about some core gay issues with someone you just have had sex with, especially if you don’t know them. Do you mind that I’m asking you these questions?

H: You’re fucking with my head.

M: Do you want me to stop?

H: No, you’re getting me to think.

M: Do you believe in love?

H: Yes, but not between two men.

M: Why not?

H: It’s not possible. It’s a sexual connection.

M: You don’t think two men can bond?

H: Not once they’ve had sex.

M: Do you have gay friends?

H: Yes.

M: Have you ever had sex with one of your gay friends?

H: No. I can’t be friends with someone I’ve had sex with.

M: Have you ever had a boyfriend?

H: No.

M: Have you never bonded with someone you’ve had sex with?

H: No.

M: Don’t you think we’re bonding right now?

H: We are. But that’s the first time that ever happens to me.

M: But it can happen?

H: I mean they can fall in love, but I don’t think they should get married or adopt kids.

M: Why can’t they adopt kids?

H: It’s not natural.

M: It’s not natural for people to adopt kids that need love?

H: I mean 2 men can’t take care of a child.

M: What does a child need to survive?

H: A mother and a father?

M: So a single mother cannot raise a child? In my opinion, a child needs food, health, water, and love to grow up fine. Can’t 2 men provide that?

H: It’s not right. It’s not natural.

M: It’s not natural or it’s not common?

H: It’s not common. People don’t like it. Why get in their face about it? I don’t understand the need for gay people to suddenly get married, adopt kids, and parade on the streets wearing feathers and underwear. It offends people.

M: So we should never do anything that offends anyone?

H: It’s the same thing as people walking down the street naked. You don’t do it because it bothers people.

M: Do you see the homophobia in what you’re saying?

H: Yes. I know. I hate myself.

M: Well, everything around you hates you, so your thinking stems from what is around you. But have you ever thought about it?

H: I am fine with being gay. I’ve accepted the fact that I like to sleep with men, and I’ve accepted the fact that I prefer being passive in bed. That wasn’t easy.

M: You think being a bottom is harder to accept than being a top?

H: In Lebanon, all tops are straight men.

M: I’m not straight.

H: But you’re not a pure top.

M: How do you know?

H: Because we kissed.

M: Where’s the logic in that? If we hadn’t kissed I would be straight in your head? Didn’t we just have sex? I’m confused.

H: You’re an exception.

M: Why is that your answer to everything I say that proves that your thoughts are not based on reality?

H: You’re fucking with my mind.

M: I’m not. I’m just asking basic questions.

H: You want to fuck again?

M: Sure.