Me. All of me.

February 27, 2013


If I was standing naked in front of you, here’s what you would see:  7 scars on my chest, ranging from a centimeter long, to 9 centimeters long. These are the result of a series of surgeries I underwent between the ages of 16 and 18 as a result of my lungs collapsing. Towards the […]

How Things End

February 19, 2013


“I wish I could love you.” *** We’re in bed, in post-coital bliss. He looks at me, knowing that I know the truth. 2 months into the relationship, he slipped in a comment. He tries to stop any conversation from happening. But I need to know. “How old are you?” “Why does it matter?” “You […]

Casual Acts of Depth

February 13, 2013


There are hallways, labyrinths, dark alleys. There are young men, old men, sexy men, skinny men, fat men. There are gay men, bisexual men, and certainly a few questioning, terrified men. There are men on all fours, men with their legs up in the air, men jerking off, men sucking off other men. There are […]

365: A Look Back

January 16, 2013


1 year. That’s how old this blog is. Exactly one year ago, I decided to launch OhMyHappiness in hopes of showing people in Lebanon and around the world the other side of being gay in Lebanon. This is the third blog that I start. I gave up on the other 2 after a couple of […]

Post-Coital Conversations

January 8, 2013


When you sleep with me, you don’t just get a regular fuck. I toss in a mind fuck for free. Me: You OK? Him: I’m fine. M: No you’re not. Why the sudden change of mood? H: I feel slutty. M: Why do you feel slutty? H: When you couldn’t find the condoms, I thought […]


December 31, 2012


More picnics, hikes, and olive picking. More home baked brownies, croissants, and pecan pies. Less worrying about my weight. A tiny bit less Twitter, a lot less Facebook, a tiny bit more blogging and a lot more writing. More books about secrets, elephants, India, illegal things, and forbidden loves. Less activism. More time with my […]


December 5, 2012


OK, so I sat down and wrote down a list of all the guys I’ve slept with. I actually took a paper and pen and tried to think back on every cock, ass, or lips that I’ve ever come into contact with. I defined “guys I’ve slept with” as anything more than heavy petting. It’s […]

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Raja Goes to the Doctor

November 27, 2012


I hate going to a new doctor/a doctor I haven’t come out to, especially when it has to do with my penis. I’ve been feeling pain when urinating recently, so I went to see this urologist. In an ideal world, this is how I would’ve liked that visit to go: – So Raja, tell me, […]

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On Dependence

November 22, 2012


I met Y about 4 years ago. He’d had quite a tough few years. His father had found out that he was gay, and decided that the only way to cure that would be to lock him up in his room for 2 months, with no access to anybody. For 2 months, Y lived at […]

Cheaters never prosper, and we’re all cheaters.

November 14, 2012


I first met The Therapist towards the end of 2004. He had just moved back from Paris, and was depressed at the dating scene here. He was looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with. The Therapist was not my type at all. Overly muscular, wore fake contact lenses, more concerned with […]